Upsides to the Down Economy/ Writing as Therapy

In a recent post I spoke about pens. How it was important to have a good one and how I was going to try and find replacement cartridges for a pen I liked. I've been looking without success, in places like CVS and Target. I guess I'm going to have to break down and go to an Office Supply Store, not my favorite place to shop. I like shopping at places where I can multi-task shop (like Target), not stores with one specific focus, where I feel I end up buying huge quantities of items at high prices. Anyway, I digress.

The pens reminded me of writing and how I try to write (journal pages) everyday. I've had a diary since I got one as a birthday gift when I turned 13. I started writing in it immediately and it's such fun to go back and read my thoughts as a 13 year old. I kept that diary, writing in it off and on, until I went away to F.S.U. when I was 17. When it was full, I started a new diary and wrote in it ferociously during my two years away at college. I tend to write most during painful or difficult periods. My freshman year, I lost my virginity and lived blocks away from where Ted Bundy killed two students (on the same night), hence the prolific pages. When I've been busy or happy, I tend not to write as much. I remember starting a new diary when my daughter was a year old and the beginning went something like: "I'm so sorry I haven't had a chance to write in so long because A.J.'s done so many cute things in the last year." I then went on to list names she had for things (like mmm-ba for her bottle) which I never would've remembered if I hadn't written it down. Writing has been therapy for me; I always feel better after I write. If it's a bad time, I can vent. If it's a good time, I can record it for posterity. The blank page is like a silent (and cost-effective) therapist.

About ten years ago, I started writing "morning pages", a suggestion from Julia Cameron's book for sparking creativity "The Artist's Way". Morning pages are three pages of writing, done long hand and stream of consiousness, first thing in the morning, to clear your head for the day. Recurrent themes that come up cannot be ignored when they are written down, so when I had written "I don't think I want to be married anymore" for the umpteenth time, it was black and white evidence that could no longer be ignored. It took me five years of that, before I actually got divorced but the seeds started somewhere in my morning pages. A word to the wise: Hide your words of wisdom from prying eyes. Keep them in a safe (and secret) place.

One problem with writing is I've always wondered what will be done with my diaries and journal pages when I die. Luckily, that's a problem I won't have to worry about. At least not for now.